A Perfect Marriage

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“In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.”

Samuel Butler

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[Priest] If anyone has a reason that these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.
{silence. Wedding guests cast sideways glances}
[Priest] Okay, I’ll start counting. 3, 2, seriously, no one?
{Church Doors swing open. Man enters running}
[Wedding Crasher] [panting] Wait! Wait!
[Priest] Oh, thank Christ.
[Wedding Crasher] She can’t marry that suitcase! That suitcase is in love with me!
[Priest] Take me now, Lord. I’m done with this shit.

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Crafted

It feels like I’ve waited for you
All my life
And finally the moment is here

I lost you, saved you, and now
I hold you
My very own craft beer

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The Wise Husband

Honey,
I don’t want to answer
that question
until you tell me
how
I’m supposed to answer.

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Good things come to those who wait.
For everything else there's Mastercard.

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Ways To Avoid Procrastination:
(list found online, possibly altered)

• Find the answer to ‘What’s In It For Me.”
• Chunk your time – set a timer.
• Chunk your time – set to 1000v and tase yourself at regular intervals.
• Don’t fall asleep – you will have more time to complete tasks.
• Watch out for time gobblers – internet, email, TV, phone, socializing, unimportant notices and forwards.
• Make time gobblers into priorities.
• Delegate when the task is not part of your priority.
• Make it fun by rewarding yourself.
• Make it scary by threatening yourself.
• Change your concept of procrastination.

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Weekly Theme:
Procrastination Week

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