Tongue Twisters & No Brainers

Front Page of the Carny Gazette Sword Swallower Swallows Tongue in Tongue Twisting Competition Tongue Twister Petite Pokemon purchases Polar Bear protein bars For Anosmia Awareness Daywe are starting dumpster fireson a global scaleIf this does not concern youPlease consult your doctor In retrospect... ...I should have used hindsight Employee: The retro products aren't selling. … Continue reading Tongue Twisters & No Brainers

Christmas Wishes

I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.Thank you to all who have supported me this year in some way or another.For those who did not, death shall come on swift wings for you and yours.Just kidding, for once, it has been a difficult year for each and every … Continue reading Christmas Wishes

With this Bottle Opener, I Thee Wed

"So this is really happening?" asked Councilman Corona in disbelief."Yes," began Chairman Snow." The vote was unanimous. The bill will be passed. From this day forth, any man.""Or woman," interrupted committee member Tsingtao."Yes, thank you. Or woman, will be legally within their rights to marry any beer; be it individual, six pack, case, or keg, … Continue reading With this Bottle Opener, I Thee Wed


Paper doll personaswill be fed to the papier-mâché beast Dimensions will fractured,where others may be released When comes a great fallthe earth rightfully demands a knee Alcohol and smelling salts,mixed mediums for the journey While these confinescreate sinners with dead men's eyes The dilated pupilwill ascertain we've never felt more alive