National Mousoon’s German Vacation

Man reist nicht, um anzukommen, sondern um zu reisen.
Translation: “You do not travel to arrive, but to travel.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Miku: perfect vacation

travels done
I arrived nowhere
except home

Rolling hills of artificial green
Where nature is lost to a glossy sheen
Precision lines divide the fields
For a future that fails to digest the yields

Paying for public toilets
Is highway robbery
Especially since
they also charge you
for public urination

I’m told you can be fined for using obscene hand gestures on the Autobahn.
I’ve gotta say, there’s no place I’ve ever wanted to use them more.

According to Google maps travelling from one end of Germany to the other is a journey of about 1092 kilometers and it takes about 12 and a half hour to make it. Stops not included.

A boy from Bad Kissingen
got a bad rap
He was such a good kisser
he gave half the village the clap

Have the roadside advertisements been there since the 1980s or is retro the German style?

Can’t have much
With so many bridges
No water

I swear I saw
Hansel and Gretel
on forty separate occasions
One was surely the original set
Or have Germans figured out cloning
and not told the rest of us

(I reminded my children of the Hansel and Gretel tale while driving through a particularly dark wood. Earned myself half an hour of quiet)

Up the hill
Now my bucket is empty

Radio transmission hijacked!
Are we about to be abducted by aliens?
Just some German guy screaming
The local traffic conditions

Any more
Wind turbines
And Germany may take off

a dozen hours
in a car
three wild kids
no open bar

a foreign landscape
Foreign lanes
my tired ass
same old pains

(W)anker Magazine

Thoughts while driving through Germany

*All photos taken by the twisting tail