Evolution of the Household Appliance (God’s Microwave)

I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add “er”.

Mitch Hedberg

To err is…

impart wit
my name writ
all over it
Deviner

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We are mold
Growing on a burrito
God left
Forgotten
In heaven’s microwave 

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The laundry gods
With their lightning bolts so clean
Electrifying my undies
Now, I’m the fastest thing you’ve never seen

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In 1908 the Hurley Machine Company of Chicago, Illinois, launched the first electric clothes washer, named 'The Mighty Thor.'

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To be
Colour free
Produces
Freedom
From the restraints
Of colour

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The amazing experience
Of vacuuming;
it both sucks and blows

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The Pressure Cooker is updating with the times
And will now be known as the Stress Cooker.

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Lune: Fridge 9000

can you hear me, HAL
problem solved
family is gone

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The motorized compressors of early refrigerators (1920s) could easily malfunction, allowing the toxic gases that served as refrigerants to escape, resulting in the death of entire families.

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A late night power outage
Spawns the headlamp cyclops
Prepare torches and pitchforks
Before the madness stops

The last thing I heard
before passing out
Was the toaster chime,
“You’re toast.”

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It is estimated that over 700 people around the world are killed each year as a result of toaster fires and electrocutions.

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