Birth & Revenge


young fetus ensconced
knows no time
a new mother waits


panicked and screaming
from the first
shape of things to come


Write a Lune about birth.
The lune, also known as the American Haiku, was first created by the poet Robert Kelly.
It is a 13-syllable, self-contained poem that has 5 syllables in the first line, 3 syllables in the second line and 5 syllables in the final line. There are no other rules.


I’m not one to think of revenge, my friends
Hardly consider it worth it’s weight in copper
So I used a random word generator, sigh
To choose the end line words for me. #nervous
I warn, this might come out sounding -syndrome-
<Like that. I have no one to blame but myself
But I’ll try to pull it together in the… subway
For a poem about revenge and temptation

Now, revenge is a daunting temptation
Please feel free to confer with friends
Like two ships passing in the subway
Out of depth with hulls made of copper
Vessels on ill fitting rails, I think to myself
All sparks as the metal motions with a sigh
The strain warps and forms a syndrome
With all travellers nauseous and nervous

The expectation of attack can make one nervous
But retaliation is an ill tempered temptation
‘Running together’ from the greek, ‘syndrome’
Is a sickness shared more often between friends
What can be born and grow from a single sigh
Is a path that could be described a sub-way
Revenge is born out of envy I found out myself
While plotting expense with a fist full of copper

The festering marks, hands stained of copper
Days spent in idle loathing, twitching and nervous
If life was spent alone, my only company, myself
Could I be cured, rid myself of my temptation?
I puzzle this thought on my way to the subway
Altercation begets revenge, and so the syndrome
Forgiveness may see a scream become a sigh
But what of inevitable wrongdoing by friends?

I hand over my copper and board the subway
My nervous state a subconscious syndrome
I think to myself of anxiety in foresight and sigh
What temptation are friends in a world of betrayal and revenge


Write an Octina with a theme of revenge.
an eight line sestina (which is unofficially called an octina). Applying the matrix you end up with 4 stanzas of 8 lines which look like this:
12345678
81726354
48513762
24687531
The envoi is 4 lines instead of 3 and the words are: 2,7/4,5/6,3/8,1.


Weekly Theme:
Murisopsis Scavenger Hunt: Here


26 thoughts on “Birth & Revenge

  1. Wow! I really enjoyed the Lune – but the Octina is outstanding! You even used the random words – and if you hadn’t said anything I’d never have been able to tell! All kinds of wonderful in this one!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you murisopsis!
      I really had to work at finding an angle on the Octina. Nothing popped so I, for some strange reason, made it more difficult with random words 🀣
      Hope you enjoy the rest of the week as much. I have all 13 over the 7 days πŸ‘

      Like

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