I wish I had an STD,
maybe even a few
I would start with gonorrhea,
And add syphilis in there too
Maybe then I’d get chlamydia
And herpes sound like fun
Sprinkle in some genital warts
But wait, I’m not yet done
Crabs, the party favorite
And this new thing that I found
Parasitic trichomoniasis
I hope it’s as sexy as it sounds
Yes I wish I had and STD,
maybe even a few
Yes, if I only had some STDS
I would give them all to you
Now, I am happy to suffer
That’s what you taught me to do
And I won’t mind the suffering
as long as you suffer too
I’ll make sure you remember
what you did to me
By giving to you this itching
Burning, lasting memory
Revenge is a dish
Best served in bed
By the time we are through
You’ll wish that you were dead
The Twisting Tail 