Staff Newsletter A3202020<4204217Ω
The Pure Land Meditation retreat was a huge success!
Positive vibes are up 11% Well done guys!
Thank you to all involved in making it happen.
Zylar Nork has left us for a new position in the 34th place.
We wish it well in future endeavours.
Karen Whitaker has been promoted to head of accounting. Contact her about any payroll disputes.
The staff party has been moved to Buddha’s Backyard.
The theme is still Korean BBQ
Inform 당신을위한 수프 없음 of Allergies.
We have received a few complaints recently. The Dharma Group would like us to remind you to follow basic protocols regarding reincarnation.
Orientation & Explanation
(Alien costumes are strictly forbidden)
Processing & Tagging
(Hunting humans is also STRICTLY FORBIDDEN)
(No sharing of files. Anyone found with memories will be terminated)
Analysis & Grading
(Determination is based on the standard. No independent judgements)
(Please don’t forget to erase the cache files and recycle bin contents)
(Assignment is based on grading, not spite)
(predestined algorithms have become too predictable. Choose the third option and add a number with your soon to be issued random number generator)
Please, remember to wash your hands after contact with mortals, using the bathroom and cigarette breaks.
48 days with incident. Keep up the good work people!