Catspiracy

If there is a cat in the room with you leave now.

Did it see you leave? Did it watch you the entire way? They might be on to us.

You ever wonder how a cat can fall out of a four-story building backwards, and land on its feet unharmed?

How there is no record before ancient Egypt that mentions the existence of cats, a place where they were worshipped as gifts from the gods.

Why they can hear sounds as high as 64 kHz but we can only hear up to 20 kHz.

Why cats stare at us constantly with those big eyes?

I’ll tell you why, because they are, in fact, alien surveillance devices, recording our every move and have been for thousands of years.

Scientists still can’t figure out how or why cats purr. I know, they are adjusting frequencies for transmission.

You think you’re just patting your cat, no, it’s taking your DNA sample. That sound is an interstellar fax machine sending information home.

Just the image of a cat without ears (antenna) is a perfect match with the classic alien image, almond-shaped eyes, small mouth, and small nose. We have been blind for so long.

They have infiltrated every corner of the globe, we even have cats as mayors of towns for Christ’s sake!

I intercepted one of their transmissions, I know the truth, their plans, and I’m warning you before it’s too la

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